Day 68

by childofwine

68 days since MG drove me to the airport and helped me calm my severely panicked self. 68 days since I arrived in Skidmore and wrote my first post.

This is it. Sort of. In as much as any concentrated life experience can be completed and packaged in a nice and tidy bundle.

This is the end of My Mini Master’s Summer Intensive Vacation. Sort of. Because this is the beginning of taking all that I’ve learned and discovered making it manifest in my art and my life.

Last night we invited friends and family to see some of the work we had been exploring for the last three weeks.

A little bit of Tai Chi to start it off then a Commedia scene and finally, one after another, we presented our little chosen object pieces.

It was great.

I think I’ve discovered a freedom with masks that I had previously only sniffed at or seen in others. I want to find more opportunities to dive deeper and further into this world. I was able to perform in my very own mask last night, unlike the others I had no character development time but we found a basic approach for me and I had a blast. We made a positive mold of my face, it’s creepy, but it means I can make as many masks as I want!

My object piece turned out much better than I expected. I lost control – ownership? command? – a bit in the second half; I think I gave myself a bit more than I could chew but I don’t regret the attempt at all. So many wonderful moments of discovery, realisation and breath.

I had such an up and down adventure with this process. Last night I had such an exceptionally wonderful time on stage. I would definitely go back and change things if I could but the experience of consciously owning my space and time onstage was just the best. Not quite like those times I remember in big plays but of a kind and, perhaps, far more impacting. Then, in the past, I think it was just adrenalin rushing through and being just barely contained by some innate sort of artistic instinct.  Now, I wonder if maybe I may have just found myself a bit of confidence, maybe I may have rediscovered the knowledge that I Got What It Takes, maybe I have actually honed and crafted some of the skills required to truly begin the journey towards mastering a craft…

Woo hoo.

Next step is obvious and epic and completely unknown and just waiting for me to figure out how to reveal it. Where do I go with this? Who do I do it with? Do I get back on stage? Can I make my own work? Are there people who want to begin exploring just to explore for the sake of learning and training? I don’t think I’m interested in putting up shows right now, rather, I think I want to try and create a small dedicated lab environment for the pursuit of a collective dialogue and vocabulary through which to potentially create new pieces… You know, commercially and financially sound artistic ventures like that!

Oh yeah, and, I gotta write that promised SITI wrap-up essay. How far away does that feel now!

What I know is this. In about twenty-four hours, weather gods and Porter Air and all the other little demi-gods of travel permitting, I’ll be in Georgian Bay refreshed after a much dreamed of flop in the lake and off in my little 9.9 for a night of dancing on the rocks with some the oldest and bestest friends a gal can have.

Good ol’Douglas Adams came up today as we drank on the patio celebrating the completion of our adventure here in beautiful Halifax. I’ll share it here ’cause I think it works, yet again, for me:

“I may not have gone where I intended to go, but I think I have ended up where I needed to be”

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